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I'm Back!


Hello!!
I have been MIA blog wise for a long time!! But I am baaaccckkk!!

So it has been crazy these past few months. In January we welcomed Dante Russell. Everyone has adjusted better than ever could have been imagined. We are getting into the groove of it all and I just wanted to share something I feel need to be said.

First off I'm not perfect and neither are you. I am so sorry if I am the one who had to break this news to you. But you aren't and that is OK. Don't try to be perfect either it's exhausting and wouldn't you rather spend your energy on more fun stuff??

Secondly it's ok to fail. It means you are trying. You are doing. You are motivated. It's when you stop trying that you will need someone to come along and give you a lil kick in the pants. Like one of my favorite movie characters of all time said "Just keep swimming". We are all in this race of life and sometimes we are out front really rocking this whole adulting and parenting thing. Other times we are in the back and we are running out of steam and we don't know if we have it in us to keep going. But you have to. We have to keep going. And hope fully there are people around you cheering you on and you are there motivating others.

Which leads me to a very important point... Be Nice. I know seems so simple yet so many people have a hard time with this concept. Be the person lifting people up and helping them on those days they don't know if they can. Hold a door for someone. Say please and thank you. Be a friend. Listen. <------ not just HEAR people LISTEN to them. It doesn't take alot to be nice so give it a try today. And when you make a BIG impact with a small gesture it will make your day just as much. And those little people you created will notice and they will learn to be nice too .

Give yourself a break. Life can be hard. Being a mom is hard. At the end of the day know what is important and focus on that. So whether its a crazy day where we are constantly trying to catch up with the day and Joe doesn't wear pants and Dante didn't get enough tummy time and there were meltdowns during homework (but the kids were understanding and we got through it) or its one of those days things just go great. (And you don't say anything because you don't want to jinx it so you subconsciously acknowledge it but not too much or then everything will go wrong?!) Either way at the end of the day I make sure:
*the kids felt loved... This doesn't mean I shower them with gifts and give them everything they want. This means I am present with them. That our time together matters. They matter .
*connections were made... It's hard in the hustle and bustle of life to truly connect with our kids. From wake up to sun down it tends to just be getting ready for the next thing we need to do. But it's in between all those things we need to do that have been some great moments with the kids. Driving in the car is my favorite time to talk to the older ones. It's like when we get in there they just want to tell me everything. It's be very easy to just be like "I need quiet not right now" and I have said that before but I need those moments listening to them just as much as they need to talk and be heard. For the little ones it's the morning after the older ones go to school. I have about an hour with each of them alone while the other naps. This isn't ALWAYS the case but when it is I just make sure For that time they are my only focus. Itd be very easy to put Dante in a seat or jumper or put Joe in his high chair and give him snacks so I can clean or watch TV or anything else. But I try to just be there with them in that moment. It doesn't happen everyday but I make sure when I can I do. It's not how much time you have it's what you do with that time.
*I was intentional... This piggybacks from the previous one. Between the pick ups and drops off and appointments and grocery shopping and then going back when you forget what you went to the store for but ended up getting everything you didn't need and nothing you did. But it is intentionally making the moments matter. Get off auto pilot. Sing in the car with them. Play eye spy on the grocery store. Tip toe or monster stomp instead of walking to the car. I wouldnt attempt these with older children as they already view me as an embarassment and this would just further give them reason to believe such.
*don't take everything so seriously... There are times in life being serious is necessary. But when it's not take a deep breath and go with it. Its ok to laugh when you want to cry. It's also ok to cry when you want to cry. I am famous for the laugh that turns into a cry then back to a laugh. There are times it would be so much easier to just be like "Ok I'm done I cannot deal with this". But I find that laughing and finding the humor or bright side things helps. Not all the time and I'm not a life guru by any means. But when you have one child crying like they've never eaten and another who you just found in his crib with his poopy diaper not on him you can find the humor in it and just power through.

For those of you who don't know I have 4 children. And the two youngest are only 11 months apart so with them there are alot of moments I most certainly do not feel enough. They both need me so much of the time. Or all the time. I am always feeding or holding or changing or playing with one of them. And it is crazy. But there are those moments and I know all of us have these moments. There are the moments you can't imagine your life any other way. And you wouldn't want to. It's those run by hugs that your child holds on so tight. It's when your child accomplished something for the first time. Its when you see your child make the right decision even when he or she doesn't know you are watching. These moments put those crazy moments in perspective. So enjoy the good and the had because one day the kids will be grown and believe it or not you will miss those moments.

Until next time,
Stefanie


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